Well my friends, it's nearing Easter; and besides the religious values, it is also the time for...
...CHOCOLATE BUNNIES. A little word about chocolate bunnies:
(The following overview may not be historically acurate. BEWARE. None of this material should be used in the writing of a paper. Besides, I doubt a teacher would assign a paper on chocolate bunnies, unless, of course, he/she had a sweet tooth and was in a particularly happy and Easter-ish (not to mention candy-ish) mood. So, without further ad0:)
In the year 1887, a frenchman by the name of Chuck Olate traveled across the sea to the United States to seek a new life. The trip across the sea took weeks and weeks, but finally, on the thirty-fifth day of the journey, a man on board the ship declared that he could see land through the thick of the fog. In just an hour the fog cleared, and the passengers saw that this was indeed true. The land, which they supposed was the United States, was very near now, and the shipmates were preparing the ship to pull in.
One thing the crew didn't notice, however, was that there was no harbor, nor were there any buildings, nor was there any horses or dogs or cats. There was, however, a surprising amount (about 300,000) of what looked like Mexicans, standing on the shore. The crew did not notice these Mexicans, however, and, when they landed the boat, the Mexicans ran aboard and slaughtered almost all of the passengers... All of them, that is, except Chuck Olate.
Olate saw immediately from his studies as a younger man, that these men were not Mexicans, but South Americans, and that the ship had landed in South America, rather than the United States. Olate tried communicating with the 300,000 natives, but they all ignored him and simply signalled for him to follow them. They brought him to the center of the their kingdom, which they called Homucuchinthintai, or, as you might know it, Brazil.
The first think Olate noticed about the place was the enormous amount of trees. The natives had never bothered cutting any of them down, so there was still dense jungles and rain forests covering the land.
The large crowd of natives brought Olate to a small forest which they told him was called Seinnubetalocohcehtfoecalp, and there, they caged him up in the area of trees. Olate protested and asked him what he was to do. The natives told him that their ruler had commanded that he be sentenced to that place to harvest the beans of the cocoa trees until he died.
He was distraught at this news and watched as the 300,000 natives left Seinnubetalocohcehtfoecalp and returned to their homes to prepare for the evening feast. Olate wept for three days and nights and knew not what to do. He had not seen any signs of life since the natives had left him, save a funny little monkey who kept pulling his pants down, but that doesn't count. Then, on the third night of the third day, Olate had a vision. In it, he was told that there was a great plan in store for him and that he must do as the natives wished and harvest the cocoa beans. So he did.
For years and years Olate harvested the big fruits of the cocoa trees. Every day, after hours of tireless harvesting, Olate would finally finish the days work, and the natives would come to collect his harvest to eat them back at their village. The only thing Olate had to eat was raw cocoa bean and the small fruits that grew on trees around him. Then, one day, Olate had had enough of the cocoa beans and was ready to die, but he didn't. He sat up all night trying to do anything he could to improve the flavor of the cocoa. As the light of dawn broke over the horizon, Olate decided that nothing could be done to improve the brown hard cocoa beans. Olate then fell into a coma.
When the natives saw him in a coma, they decided to carry him away and bury him on the beach, so they proceeded to enter into the enclosed area of cocoa trees and they carried Olate away on a long bambo stretcher. They then placed him on the beach, knowing that the god of the sea would soon send his tide demons to envolope the soul of Olate and carry him away to his chosen afterlife.
Rather than being carried away by the tide, however, Olate met a different fate. A passing cargo ship had passed by the beach and a man onboard had seen Olate's body on the beach from afar. He had alerted the captain and the captain had sent a rowboat of men to land on the beach and bring the man lying on the beach back to him. Olate was brought onboard and had no knowledge of the journey he was taking.
After Olate awoke from his coma, he found himself sitting on the shore of an inhabited city, which was New York, and which was the location the captain and his crew had dropped Olate off at after crossing the sea. Olate then decided that, since he was in the place he originally going to, he should just find a place to live and continue his life. After all, why not. It's not like the big life-changing experience of living with natives in South America and harvesting cocoa beans was going to change him, right? Olate tried to convince himself of this, but he simply could not get images of cocoa beans and natives out of his head. After awhile, he got the images of natives to leave his head, but the ones of cocoa beans still remained. Olate new he was being called to do something, but he just didn't know what.
Olate walked around lazily, not knowing where to go or what to do. Then, suddenly, a little bunny hopped right past him. Olate didn't know what it was that struck him about the bunny; maybe its shape? Or its brown color? Olate decided to find a job at a nearby restaraunt, which had a specialty of making the finest deserts around.
Olate began working in the kitchen of the restaraunt, and soon, the manager let him concoct his own desserts for the daily specials. He did this job well, sometimes making pies, sometimes cookies. One day, however, Olate noticed the Restaraunt had a particularly large supply of...
cocoa beans. He didn't know what it was, but suddenly he had an inspiration. Everything he had experienced suddenly flew at him all at once to form this inspiration. Within one hour, Olate had concocted the daily special.
When the manager walked in, he was furious. He thought that Olate had scooped up some cow manure and placed it on the counter. Olate protested by saying that the thing which looked like cow manure was the daily special. The manager said that he would not allow something so repulsive looking to be served at his restaraunt. Olate had other ideas, however.
While the manage was out doing business, Olate dressed up as a waiter and served his daily special to a very hungry-looking couple. At the sight of Olate carrying what looked like poop on a platter, the lady who had ordered the special fainted, and her gentleman was distraught. Olate pleaded with the man to take the dessert and try it, swearing that it wasn't poop. After much persuasion, the man finally took the platter from the french waiter and took a bite out of it with his fork. The reluctant man chewed slowly and nastily, and when he was done, he looked up at Olate and said, "this is the most wonderful thing i have ever tasted!"
By the way, you probably noticed that I slowed down the pace of Olate's story after he got off the island. I did this because this moment was crucial in the story of the history of the chocolate bunny and so there were many witnesses to fill in its details. Now, however, I will speed it up a bit:
Olate's new dessert was an instant success and everyone was ordering it. When the manager found out how his business had risen because of the strange concoction, he promoted Olate to manager and told Olate he could have whatever salary he wanted. Instead of taking this offer, however, Olate decided to move to Kentucky. There, he was inspired to further his invention. He also new that he must come up with a name for it. There was something similar to it which people called "Hershey's", but it wasn't nearly as good as Olate's, so he decided to name the thing after him, (this is a mark, to some historians, of Chuck Olate's ego) Chuck Olate. When he pitched the idea to his agent, though, his French accent made it sound like "chocolate", and the agent liked it. So, when they started producing the wrappers for Chuck Olate candy bar, they read "Chocolate", rather than what Chuck had originally intended, but he was satisfied anyway. Later on, Olate started producing the candy in the shape of a bunny. (he also made quite a bit of money making it in Santa Claus, Easter egg, and heart shapes. Later, he started selling them for way too much and a sneaky Mexican man stole the recipe, claiming that his stolen recipe was of a better quality and thus began the enterprise of DeBrand. Olate began selling out and, before he new it, hundreds of companies had the recipe of his invention. They began "corrupting", as he called it, his invention by mixing it with peanut butter and nuts and watering it down with ice cream and cookie dough. Soon, it was absolutely out of control and Olate decided to retire and live a peaceful life. Later, he read in the news how Thomson the six-foot black man had started selling a rival dessert made from the vanilla beans of Africa.
Olate died in the year 1920, before the Depression.
I hope you have learned something from this historical segment, but it's probably better that you didn't. "Why?" you ask. Well, if you were listening to the story, you would know why.
...CHOCOLATE BUNNIES. A little word about chocolate bunnies:
(The following overview may not be historically acurate. BEWARE. None of this material should be used in the writing of a paper. Besides, I doubt a teacher would assign a paper on chocolate bunnies, unless, of course, he/she had a sweet tooth and was in a particularly happy and Easter-ish (not to mention candy-ish) mood. So, without further ad0:)
In the year 1887, a frenchman by the name of Chuck Olate traveled across the sea to the United States to seek a new life. The trip across the sea took weeks and weeks, but finally, on the thirty-fifth day of the journey, a man on board the ship declared that he could see land through the thick of the fog. In just an hour the fog cleared, and the passengers saw that this was indeed true. The land, which they supposed was the United States, was very near now, and the shipmates were preparing the ship to pull in.
One thing the crew didn't notice, however, was that there was no harbor, nor were there any buildings, nor was there any horses or dogs or cats. There was, however, a surprising amount (about 300,000) of what looked like Mexicans, standing on the shore. The crew did not notice these Mexicans, however, and, when they landed the boat, the Mexicans ran aboard and slaughtered almost all of the passengers... All of them, that is, except Chuck Olate.
Olate saw immediately from his studies as a younger man, that these men were not Mexicans, but South Americans, and that the ship had landed in South America, rather than the United States. Olate tried communicating with the 300,000 natives, but they all ignored him and simply signalled for him to follow them. They brought him to the center of the their kingdom, which they called Homucuchinthintai, or, as you might know it, Brazil.
The first think Olate noticed about the place was the enormous amount of trees. The natives had never bothered cutting any of them down, so there was still dense jungles and rain forests covering the land.
The large crowd of natives brought Olate to a small forest which they told him was called Seinnubetalocohcehtfoecalp, and there, they caged him up in the area of trees. Olate protested and asked him what he was to do. The natives told him that their ruler had commanded that he be sentenced to that place to harvest the beans of the cocoa trees until he died.
He was distraught at this news and watched as the 300,000 natives left Seinnubetalocohcehtfoecalp and returned to their homes to prepare for the evening feast. Olate wept for three days and nights and knew not what to do. He had not seen any signs of life since the natives had left him, save a funny little monkey who kept pulling his pants down, but that doesn't count. Then, on the third night of the third day, Olate had a vision. In it, he was told that there was a great plan in store for him and that he must do as the natives wished and harvest the cocoa beans. So he did.
For years and years Olate harvested the big fruits of the cocoa trees. Every day, after hours of tireless harvesting, Olate would finally finish the days work, and the natives would come to collect his harvest to eat them back at their village. The only thing Olate had to eat was raw cocoa bean and the small fruits that grew on trees around him. Then, one day, Olate had had enough of the cocoa beans and was ready to die, but he didn't. He sat up all night trying to do anything he could to improve the flavor of the cocoa. As the light of dawn broke over the horizon, Olate decided that nothing could be done to improve the brown hard cocoa beans. Olate then fell into a coma.
When the natives saw him in a coma, they decided to carry him away and bury him on the beach, so they proceeded to enter into the enclosed area of cocoa trees and they carried Olate away on a long bambo stretcher. They then placed him on the beach, knowing that the god of the sea would soon send his tide demons to envolope the soul of Olate and carry him away to his chosen afterlife.
Rather than being carried away by the tide, however, Olate met a different fate. A passing cargo ship had passed by the beach and a man onboard had seen Olate's body on the beach from afar. He had alerted the captain and the captain had sent a rowboat of men to land on the beach and bring the man lying on the beach back to him. Olate was brought onboard and had no knowledge of the journey he was taking.
After Olate awoke from his coma, he found himself sitting on the shore of an inhabited city, which was New York, and which was the location the captain and his crew had dropped Olate off at after crossing the sea. Olate then decided that, since he was in the place he originally going to, he should just find a place to live and continue his life. After all, why not. It's not like the big life-changing experience of living with natives in South America and harvesting cocoa beans was going to change him, right? Olate tried to convince himself of this, but he simply could not get images of cocoa beans and natives out of his head. After awhile, he got the images of natives to leave his head, but the ones of cocoa beans still remained. Olate new he was being called to do something, but he just didn't know what.
Olate walked around lazily, not knowing where to go or what to do. Then, suddenly, a little bunny hopped right past him. Olate didn't know what it was that struck him about the bunny; maybe its shape? Or its brown color? Olate decided to find a job at a nearby restaraunt, which had a specialty of making the finest deserts around.
Olate began working in the kitchen of the restaraunt, and soon, the manager let him concoct his own desserts for the daily specials. He did this job well, sometimes making pies, sometimes cookies. One day, however, Olate noticed the Restaraunt had a particularly large supply of...
cocoa beans. He didn't know what it was, but suddenly he had an inspiration. Everything he had experienced suddenly flew at him all at once to form this inspiration. Within one hour, Olate had concocted the daily special.
When the manager walked in, he was furious. He thought that Olate had scooped up some cow manure and placed it on the counter. Olate protested by saying that the thing which looked like cow manure was the daily special. The manager said that he would not allow something so repulsive looking to be served at his restaraunt. Olate had other ideas, however.
While the manage was out doing business, Olate dressed up as a waiter and served his daily special to a very hungry-looking couple. At the sight of Olate carrying what looked like poop on a platter, the lady who had ordered the special fainted, and her gentleman was distraught. Olate pleaded with the man to take the dessert and try it, swearing that it wasn't poop. After much persuasion, the man finally took the platter from the french waiter and took a bite out of it with his fork. The reluctant man chewed slowly and nastily, and when he was done, he looked up at Olate and said, "this is the most wonderful thing i have ever tasted!"
By the way, you probably noticed that I slowed down the pace of Olate's story after he got off the island. I did this because this moment was crucial in the story of the history of the chocolate bunny and so there were many witnesses to fill in its details. Now, however, I will speed it up a bit:
Olate's new dessert was an instant success and everyone was ordering it. When the manager found out how his business had risen because of the strange concoction, he promoted Olate to manager and told Olate he could have whatever salary he wanted. Instead of taking this offer, however, Olate decided to move to Kentucky. There, he was inspired to further his invention. He also new that he must come up with a name for it. There was something similar to it which people called "Hershey's", but it wasn't nearly as good as Olate's, so he decided to name the thing after him, (this is a mark, to some historians, of Chuck Olate's ego) Chuck Olate. When he pitched the idea to his agent, though, his French accent made it sound like "chocolate", and the agent liked it. So, when they started producing the wrappers for Chuck Olate candy bar, they read "Chocolate", rather than what Chuck had originally intended, but he was satisfied anyway. Later on, Olate started producing the candy in the shape of a bunny. (he also made quite a bit of money making it in Santa Claus, Easter egg, and heart shapes. Later, he started selling them for way too much and a sneaky Mexican man stole the recipe, claiming that his stolen recipe was of a better quality and thus began the enterprise of DeBrand. Olate began selling out and, before he new it, hundreds of companies had the recipe of his invention. They began "corrupting", as he called it, his invention by mixing it with peanut butter and nuts and watering it down with ice cream and cookie dough. Soon, it was absolutely out of control and Olate decided to retire and live a peaceful life. Later, he read in the news how Thomson the six-foot black man had started selling a rival dessert made from the vanilla beans of Africa.
Olate died in the year 1920, before the Depression.
I hope you have learned something from this historical segment, but it's probably better that you didn't. "Why?" you ask. Well, if you were listening to the story, you would know why.
4 comments:
That Is awsome!!
Thanks! lol. I made it all up.
nice story. hahaha i enjoyed it!
Thx. I made it in like 3 days
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